Dudes in the 1700's hitting it from the back
Like if a girl can be a GAMER DON'T HOLD THEM LIKE THAT!!!
Women: Omg, men can't find the clitoris A dick after a woman's handjob:
So you're a Scorpio and I'm a Libra so we match perfectly together. Wtf this b*tch talking bout. Omg no way I guess we're meant to be
When you're too busy to come up with a clever pick up line so you get straight to the point. Hey baby, want to touch my weiner?
NATURAL MINERAL WATER
Victoria's Secret hires their first down syndrome model, SIGH (ZIP)
When you pull your phone out around your GF.
"Ok, I wouldn't necessarily have chosen the handle 'AryanAssRaper' and not made those kinds of death threats. But, Margaret, he was 39 when he wrote that. Don't you get to blow off a little steam at 39? Let's give the guy a break."
You can't enjoy Kanye's music anymore, haven't you read his tweets?! Me enjoying both his music and his tweets:
Men, please vent to women. We DO care.
A freaky 7 is hotter than a 10 who only does missionary CHANGE MY MIND
EVERY TIME I HEAR PAM BONDI SAY SOMETHING Impressive, very nice. Now let's see the Epstein Files.
How I Made $290,000 Selling Books
I'm on a very specific diet
If your work space ever looks like this, just know your job is meaningless and could be done by two guys every other Wednesday.
The Chinese village of Zhelaizhai claims to be the descendants of Romans captured at Carrhae. BABE PLEASE YOU ARE A CHINESE THE LOST LEGION IS A MYTH. THE ETERNAL CITY CALLS TO ME
nick @olasnic_ · 19h In this house, Luigi Mangione is a hero, end of story. 159 10.1K 84.9K 2.8M
Mediterranean Sea, BUC-EE'S STRIP, Egypt, SINAI, Gaza, Israel, BUC-EE'S
If you can poke Prince Charles in the chest like he's your bitch, you may be a Rothschild.
My girlfriend: I have had the most stressful day ever. Me: I've got just the thing for that!
ELONNN ELONNNNNNNNN DONT GIVE BANGLADESH INTERNET ACCESS ELONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Starlink now available in Bangladesh!
my face when seeing someone easily surpass me in the only field I excel:
YOU MAY BE SAVAGE BUT YOU WILL NEVER BE RICK RUDE WEARING HIS OPPONENT'S WIFE ON HIS CROTCH SAVAGE
This and a girl with a bush
Me: I think I'm gonna cum. Her: Hold on... Just think about the holocaust or something trag-
humiliating. looks like shit. yet another massive W for earth, the best planet in the universe we've seen eclipses on earth, so here's an eclipse from mars. this is mars's moon phobos eclipsing the sun.
Excuse Me, My boyfriend asked for breast milk in his coffee!
REPUBLICANS WILL BE EXPOSED BY THIS TOO! GOOD.
IRA HAS WEAPOS OF MASS DESTRUCTIO WHEELOF FORTUNE PLACE Hey, I've seen this one! MAKEAM GREAT M What do you mean you've seen it? It's brand new!
Iran talkn crazy like this president dont got 34 felonys, 3 bms and got popped. Siri play many men
Woman Texting Group Chat About Crush Double-Checks That 'Atlantic' Editor Not in Here
roommate broke up with his gilfriend that cook for us
Coworker: hey, want to see pictures of my kids from the Memorial Day weekend? Me: sure, just a sec..
When you realize you can freely drive around with swastikas on your Tesla and people will just assume it got vandalized.
wtf.. being ur imaginary gf is so tiring babe.. can u pls take ur fucking meds i wanna disappear
"I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY MY TESTOSTERONE LEVELS ARE SO LOW" "Casual sex and masturbation is healthy" "Pfff tap water's free, why would anyone pay for a filter or bottled water?" "Polyester underwear is fine"
Guess how many woman I had sex with Mmm? Jeez, not that many
VIRGIN MOVIE MONSTERS There movies should be labeled comedy if you ask me Only pussies get scared by these virgins Don't even exist lol Get worse every remake If you close your eyes they'll go away CHAD MY FATHER'S BELT Makes an unforgettable noise as it passes through the sound barrier Tonight, closing your eyes won't change anything Will help me learn my lessons Shiny and waxed all times Usually coupled with funny drinks
Rook at me! My name is Jeff, how about that footbar game? Boy I rove avocado toast hahahah
Germany: Alright, the war's going great, now we only have to worry about Russia and Great Brit- Japan: *Bombs Pearl Harbor* Germany:
A SCHIZOPHRENIC RACIST IS TALKING listen and learn
Roses are red Violets are blue We have got to do something about all these filthy immigrants
The guy who picked on me in high school and then became a millionaire just came into McDonald's and I shorted him on his fries. Checkmate Justin, you fucking loser.
Violence is NOT the answer. The answer is *opens history book* uh oh *frantically starts flipping through pages* uh oh. oh no. no no no. uh oh
YOU WOULDN'T finish A task
IF EVERYTHING IS REDUCED TO A MEME NOTHING HAS VALUE ANYMORE. MONEY? A MEME RELIGION? A MEME FAMILY? A MEME LOVE? A MEME. CULTURE? A MEME WHEN EVERYTHING IS REDUCED TO A MEME NOTHING IS LEFT. EVERYTHING IS JUST A MEME
When you've been playing an online game with a random person for three hours, and they finally have to leave: It's been an honor. Good luck.
When my FBI agent realizes she looks forward to my memes and has developed a crush on me
"I'm gonna retaliate by raising tariffs to 125%" "Oh yea? Well I'm raising mine to 250%" "500%" "1000%" "Do you even know what the economic consequences of this will be?" "No, do you?" "No"
“but chuddha what if-“ “it wont”
King Charles is launching his own Apple Music radio show to showcase his favorite music. Whether you're a peasant or a king the urge to make a podcast burns like a thousand suns within all of us men
"Sir, we've shifted some members of delta to your security detail." Hegseth: How are their racks? "Sir? They're very lean. These men are the best in the business." Hegseth: Men? "Yes sir.." Hegseth: Cute blondes that look like twins. Immediately. "Sir, please." Hegseth: Tight asses, real hardbodies. No twerk butts. Yeah, we're back.
When she looks through your phone but all she can find is what is a margin call, can i get a refund on stock, best way to tell my wife i lost our life savings
When she said she wasn't going to be able to make it, then texts "you up still" 3 mins later
Canada begins construction on a wall at the Canada US border
When she finds out you have a meme page
MESSAGES Disney now Bro you want a job? @hamishsteele I bet if they made Ratatouille 2 it would've been like Ratatouille: International and they would've entered a cookery contest and met chefs from around the world but they all had different rats in their hats like a Sushi rat and a Guy Fieri rat and a Germany rat called Ratwurst.
WHEN YOU FINALLY MEET YOUR INTERNET FRIENDS
No shit. LGBTQ people and young women are astrology's biggest fans, U.S. survey finds No shit.
When you're about to smash and she says "tell me you love me."
Mario @PawlowskiMario 12h In a 1000 years people won't know how real JD Vance looked like
When men are in charge of hiring: When women are in charge of hiring:
Two pills, no water. He offered you a red pill and a blue pill? No water. No water? Never.could. Cant take a pill without water. I left. I'm not choking down a dry pill. So what'd you do?
When you finally meet your internet friends irl
me and my friends would've killed E.T. with hammers i can tell you that much
Google maps says we arrive at 9pm Google maps is challenging you, supreme master of the roads, this is not the time for arrival but the time you need to beat
I GOT LOCKJAW DOING GRAVEYARD SHIFTS AT THE Dicksucking Factory AND ALL I GOT WAS LOCKJAW AS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED
- And you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? - مدقة الربع مع الجبن
thinks he'll get a promotion if the boss notices how hard he is working didn't lie on his resume lunch breaks never go longer than 60 minutes "Chad Time Thief" Doesn't snitch on others when they are goofing off as well makes memes on company time takes time out of his busy schedule to enjoy some funny videos always take the 2 paid breaks he is entitled to spends an hour messing with chair height settings "Virgin Hard Worker" graduated from college and now has to work to repay his debt is greatful to be working listens to podcasts that will help him become a more effective worker tries to hide when he is on youtube even when it is for work hopes to have a career in business administration or data entry tries to be friends with the cute receptionist realizes his job is pointless so does the minimum to not get fired clocks in from hour lunch says he's still on lunch said he has a masters in computer science on his resume, never writen a line of code
Don't settle for anything less kings
Javier Milei has been President of Argentina for less than 2 weeks & has reduced the size of the government by more than 50%, repealed 380k laws, & legalized competing currencies. JESUS, I SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR OTHER PEOPLE, AND
she's a 10 but she disappears everytime I take my pills.
I thought isreal and iran were the same thing
me thinking about having a little snack five minutes after I said I was full
When you finally catch the person that's been writing bad code all the time
When the couple you let buy you a drink start giving you this look...
Waitress: let me get this mess out of your way. Me: I already called her an Uber, but thanks anyways
The lion does not concern himself with a burning chest pain, fatigue and heart palpitations
>tfw lived long enough to see Ubisoft go fucking bankrupt
you jerk off to pornography. i jerk off to abstract ideas like success and Fat bitches fighting over food we are not the same.
“if I stand up right when the plane lands, I can get off quicker" - these assholes
RED NOSE DOUGHNUT x4 NOT SUITABLE FOR VEGETA
WORKOUT SCHEDULE MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT SUN CHASE WOMEN AT NIGHT X 2 HOURS CHASE WOMEN AT NIGHT X 2 HOURS CHASE WOMEN AT NIGHT BREAK DAY CHASE WOMEN AT NIGHT X 2 HOURS CHASE WOMEN AT NIGHT X 2 HOURS CHASE WOMEN AT NIGHT X 2 HOURS HIDE IN PLAIN SIGHT. LEARN THEIR RUNNING ROUTES.
when the sex was so good you accidentally say "i love you"... & she said it back now you in a relationship
Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.
Mr. November just fucked me over @DoctorPazuzu this image is from 1993 MY ANTI DEPRESSANTS JUST KICKED IN ! FANTASTIC ! GAY! vroom vroom!
How I looked at bro when he told me he took his girl to a library to tell her he cheated so she can't yell at him:
Me: I'm going out with the boys tonight My gf: Have fun! oh your dad is coming to help fix the TV so you can stay out as late as you want. You can even sleepover there, it's okay with me! Me:
you see babe, this journalists surname ends with "berg", now let's see his "early life" section just to double check
thinking about when two non-technical, unemployed kids tried vibe coding for the first time
My wife is so tired of me commenting on every POC I see in history dramas and advertising I now just have a bell on my chair that I ring as an outlet of my frustration instead of talking about it. Fuck's sake more fucking Nogs
Would you fuck your friends for $10 Billion? My homie. Me soon to be a multibillionare
THIS IS Control Panel BITCH!!! we clown in this muthafucka betta take yo sensitive ass back to
Nigga gave her a health bar I'm crying. I renamed her "❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️" and everytime she makes a mistake I'm removing a heart until it's done for good. Don't got time to lose in 2025
FAR LEFT, FAR RIGHT, ANTISEMITISM
This how the barber looks when he trying to find a way to fix your hairline after he fucked it up